10 Things I’ve Learned About Myself by Writing The Borderline Between Us

When I started writing The Borderline Between Us, I thought I was just telling a story. A collection of journal entries, therapy reflections, raw moments stitched together to create something real. I didn’t realize I was cracking myself open—one sentence at a time. I’ve learned more about myself through this project than I ever expected. Here are ten things this book has taught me:

1. I can hold two truths at once.
I can be healing and still hurt sometimes. I can love deeply and fear abandonment. I can be a good person who’s made mistakes. I used to think I had to be one or the other—but the writing taught me there’s room for all of it.

2. My voice is powerful—even when it shakes.
There were days I cried while typing. Days I almost didn’t hit save. But each time I wrote through the fear, I realized my vulnerability wasn’t weakness. It was strength in motion.

3. BPD doesn’t define me—but it does shape how I love, grieve, and grow.
Writing about my borderline experience forced me to examine how I relate to people, how I attach, how I split. It gave me language for things I used to shame myself for. It made me gentler with the girl inside me who just wants to be held.

4. Healing isn’t linear—and that’s okay.
There were entries that felt like a breakthrough and others that felt like I was back at square one. But through the timeline of the book, I saw progress in the mess. Loops that eventually widened. Pain that eventually softened.

5. I’m more than what I’ve survived.
Yes, there are scars. There are stories I used to hide. But writing taught me that I’m not just the girl who endured trauma—I’m the woman who kept writing her way out.

6. Creative expression is my lifeline.
Whether it was a late-night journal entry, a poem scratched into my Notes app, or a therapy scene that blurred fact and fiction—writing was my survival tool. My processing. My release. It gave me space to feel what I was too afraid to say out loud.

7. I crave connection—but I need boundaries, too.
This book is a love letter to intimacy. But it also taught me the importance of self-protection. I used to think closeness meant giving everything. Now I know I can share deeply without abandoning myself.

8. I’m allowed to take up space.
For so long I minimized my pain. Laughed it off. Made myself smaller. But each time I shared something honest on the page, I reclaimed a little more ground. I made room for myself in the world—and let others do the same.

9. My past doesn’t make me unlovable.
Some entries were hard to revisit—old flings, impulsive choices, moments of deep shame. But through writing, I saw the patterns. I saw the girl who was just trying her best. And I learned to love her, too.

10. I’m not alone—and neither are you.
The most healing part of writing this book has been realizing how many others see themselves in my story. It’s not just my borderline between us—it’s ours. And through the messiness, there’s beauty in knowing we’re not navigating it alone.

The Borderline Between Us started as a book—but it became a mirror. A reckoning. A love story with myself. I hope when you read it, you find pieces of your own reflection in the pages. And I hope it reminds you that your story is worth telling, too.

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What have you learned about yourself through your own healing journey? Let me know in the comments or send me a message—I’d love to hear your story.