I Made Two TikTok’s Today & Felt Like a Clown

Today I made not one, but two TikToks. That’s two more than I usually make in a month, and let me tell you: I felt so dumb doing it.

There I was, in my kitchen, holding my phone at the worst angle possible, trying to remember what side my “good side” is (do I even have one?) while mouthing audio like a ventriloquist with performance anxiety. The lighting was tragic. My confidence? Nonexistent. But I did it. Twice.

Why? Because I’m promoting my book. And apparently, this is what we do now.

Writing the book? Fine. Editing the book? Torture, but expected. Promoting the book on TikTok? That’s a whole new level of psychological warfare. I swear I’m funny — in real life, in my writing, even in the group chat. But put me in front of a camera and suddenly I have the comedic timing of a potato. I try too hard, and it shows. I’m cringing at myself while filming. Meta cringe.

But here’s the thing: a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. And right now, that means occasionally embarrassing myself online for the greater literary good.

Will the algorithm bless me? Will one of these TikToks hit? Who knows. But I’m showing up, clown shoes and all, because I believe in this book — and honestly, what’s a little public awkwardness compared to pouring your heart into 80,000 words?

So if you see me on your FYP, please be kind. Or at least fake laugh. I'm doing my best.

xoxo,

Devon (a very embarrassed girly)